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e_moon60

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Why the Gaps? [Jun. 5th, 2016|10:44 am]
e_moon60
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[Current Mood |determined]

So it's been, um, a month and a day since a post.  What kind of way is that to do social media, someone will ask.

LifeStuff.  Pressure of work and health issues.   Pressure of work always limits the time I have to compose posts--writing for social media competes directly with writing for a living.   (No, I don't want to monetize a blog.  I don't have ads on my sites or blogs for a reason.)  Sometimes I have spare time after doing a day's regular work, and then--sometimes it's fun to write a post here or on one of my other venues.  And sometimes I not only have no spare time, but am working past my physical limits to get the work done.

Personally, I hate that getting older means being forced to admit limitations.  I've always been a workhorse, happy with my shoulders into the collar.   But even a workhorse gets old.  For the past few years---and it may be more than a few--I've been pushing and pushing and pushing to keep up with the level of productivity I used to have.   Dropping off one non-official duty after another to keep the main line functioning, until, this spring, I realized I was not just losing ground on those things, but on actual physical health. I'll spare you the details (won't interest most of you, and those who think they have to know--butt out.)  And my writing was suffering, too, by the past six months at least.

So early last month, finally admitting the damage done, I decided to make a change (and was almost immediately hit with the need to do a rewrite that pushed me right back into the harmful patterns of too little sleep, grabbing whatever was around to eat)  and am, with medical advice, on a new regimen.  It's amazing how the brain clears with a week or so of 8 hours a night and regular meals of actual real food.  (Because we live 50 miles from the city, obtaining and cooking actual food takes hours that I hadn't spent for awhile.)  Recovering health and fitness will take longer, of course, and include recommended vigorous exercise, but clearly this was a necessary change.

What it means for those of you who read my books (and aren't here just to look at pictures of knitting, the land, and/or the occasional political rants (of which there will be a couple today, just warning those who hate them)  is that I have to work fewer hours to have hours for sleep, cooking the right foods, and exercise.  Fewer hours writing means, of course, slower production.  Right now it's VERY slow, because regaining health is the priority.  More than a couple of hours at the computer a day and my concentration frays.  I hope--and actually expect--it will improve, but I doubt I'll be able to maintain the same amount that I did 10 years ago.  Better less writing done well, than more done badly. 

Expect some delays.   Understand the necessity.    I'm not quitting--I'm regrouping.


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Comments:
[User Picture]From: anais_pf
2016-06-05 04:34 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you're taking care of yourself.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-05 07:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Now that it's not storming every day, and as soon as I'm off the med for Lyme Disease (which makes you more sensitive to the sun, and more sunscreen doesn't help, say the guidelines) I'll be back on the bike every day, slowly working up the mileage.
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From: sheff_dogs
2016-06-05 05:06 pm (UTC)
I would very much rather you stayed healthy and wrote less, much as I love your writing. I want you to be around to write for years to come, totally selfishly.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-05 07:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I hope to be, because I have all these stories inside. Plus some nonfiction, some verse, and some long-delayed art work. And knitting. But I have to ration the energy. As a friend of mine (younger than me) keeps saying "We aren't twenty four...anymore."
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[User Picture]From: seekerval
2016-06-05 05:56 pm (UTC)
Take the time you need, good Lady. Heal and regenerate. Your books are awesome, but so are you. You've most certainly earned a little Green Pasture Time.

I just underwent quintuple bypass a little less than 3 weeks ago, so fully understand the changing of regimen and the slowing (or long pausing) of production. Best of luck with getting through the adjustments.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-05 07:53 pm (UTC)
Quintuple bypass...EEEEK. So glad you're still here. We'll have to remind each other to take it easy and stick to the rules. Those adjustments....all my 2nd adolescence rebelliousness is coming out (and I was a quiet, compliant adolescent the first time...so there's double.) The temptation to say "I can stay up until two if I WANT to!!! There's a cool ancient movie on this weird channel I can only access after midnight when the weather's just so!!" or "I can have a chocolate syrup sandwich on white bread for lunch if I WANT to!! It's so quick and easy and it tastes good!!" is unfortunately still there.

But I'm *mostly* being good.
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[User Picture]From: green_knight
2016-06-05 09:00 pm (UTC)
Looking after yourself is good. I have all the sympathies - my metabolism is forcing me to make lifestyle changes, and I am resentful as hell even though I know it's doing me good and objectively it's not *that* much hassle, but I grouse all the way.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-06 12:17 am (UTC)
I hope the grousing--or desire to grouse while trying not to--is part of the healing process like the itching in a fading deep bruise, or under a scab. Because I'm in the same kind of mood.
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From: (Anonymous)
2016-06-05 09:40 pm (UTC)

Thank you

I've been wondering what was up with you, hoping you hadn't been washed down stream … sounds like a silver lining situation. You don't really want to change old habits, but time for peace and enjoying a bit of green pasture is good for even the hardest working of "old horses." Not a new idea, by the way. In the early 1900s my great grand dad (according to family history) ran a rest farm for worn out delivery wagon horses.

I seem to have to make regular readjustments in order to cope with reality. Dropping a project I enjoyed and which provided a lovely group of children with experiences they treasured has left me surprisingly relieved. I am thankful I was able to do it for all those years, and also that I was helped to see that it had become too much.

For the first time in many years I am not feeling guilty about gardening, am looking forward to time for relaxation. So we love your wonderful tales, but we also love you. Do unto yourself as you try to do unto others.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-06 12:21 am (UTC)

Re: Thank you

We are luckily far enough up, and far enough away from, a small stream that even the abundant rains haven't washed us down. Though the ground water alone had risen to and slightly above ground level in one of the shallow wells. But that's down slope from the house a couple of feet.
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[User Picture]From: blueeowyn
2016-06-06 12:27 am (UTC)
I'm glad to know that you are healing. I get how antibiotics can muck things up (including the sun issue and for some of us just take all the wind out of the sails). Cooking 'real' food takes time and effort. I know I need to spend a few days this summer doing the mega pot of soup so that the DH & I will have something healthy and tasty to eat after working all day outside in the fall (we both work at a Ren Fair). I join the chorus of take care of yourself because we care about you as a person.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-06 12:43 am (UTC)
Thank you. It's a help to know that I have support from you folks while I shift gears, move the points, get back on the right track, and any other metaphors that may apply (G).
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[User Picture]From: mevennen
2016-06-06 08:46 am (UTC)
I find it very hard to get everything done without a functional routine, and am increasingly having to pace myself. Sounds as though you have it under control, though, and best wishes.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-09 11:06 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Not sure I have, yet, but working on it. Spouse and local friends keep reminding me "But you were going to NOT ADD THINGS, you were going to use the time for self-care." (Naughty second-adolescent self mutters "Self care is NOT FUN. I want FUN." Older self raises an eyebrow at naughty second-adolescent self and reminds her that she had that chance, and blew it, so to speak, being a grind while others partied.)
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[User Picture]From: ann_mcn
2016-06-06 09:44 am (UTC)
Glad that exercise and proper meals will help. A book takes as long as it takes, and computer time can be exhausting.

And, yeah, I'm not 40 any more (my peak year for health and Energizer bunny-hood).
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-09 11:07 pm (UTC)
One more day on the Lyme disease med, and I should be able to get back outdoors for the exercise.
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[User Picture]From: cgbookcat1
2016-06-06 12:45 pm (UTC)
Echoing previous commenters, take time to heal and regroup. Your health and well-being are much more important than your working pace. We readers will be patient.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-09 11:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: fatcook
2016-06-06 03:07 pm (UTC)
Please, PLEASE take care of your self. I came for the knitting and stayed for everything else. I've even gone out and bought some of your books because of this journal. : )

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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-09 11:09 pm (UTC)
I will get back to the knitting when I can figure out how to fix the mistakes (one in one sock each of two pairs) that have me stymied. I want those socks. I need those socks (wore out another pair just this week.)

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[User Picture]From: mrs_redboots
2016-06-06 07:04 pm (UTC)
As I said elsewhere, I'd far rather you were sensible so that we have new books to look forward to, even though I'm sad there won't be so many!

Incidentally, the cooking of food from scratch doesn't *have* to be totally time-consuming - I mostly (not invariably, but mostly) cook from scratch and, if I plan properly, it doesn't take too long. Mind you, I don't cook things that take forever, except fruit cake (my fruit cake is delicious, and bears no resemblance to the one in Vatta's world!). If you want to see the kind of things I cook, I do keep a food blog here.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-06 07:33 pm (UTC)
I don't consider cooking from scratch to be totally time-consuming, but when I was accepting the need to work 18 hour days...even a little was too much. Esp. the prep. Which most of the time I quite like. I'm not as fast as the pro chefs, but there's something about dicing things and slicing things that's just...fun. Much of what I cook when I'm being "serious" about it is stuff that may be on the stove awhile (simmering, or in the oven) but the work part was in preparation of the ingredients before everything goes in the pot and then sits around for a few (or, in the case of chili, many) hours without my help. I'll check out your food blog (and I expect to be intimidated.)

OK...not TOO intimidated. In fact, encouraged that you take the same approach to a sweet pepper going limp in the fridge as I do--cut it up and put it in something, quick. I do a lot of soups and stew-like things--I use more celery than you (I think, from the recipes I read) and I'm fairly sure we use a different group of spices. Cabbage started disagreeing with me violently about a decade and a half ago, so I've quit using it (and its relatives for the most part), but aside from that...fine.

I often make large batches and freeze some (or we eat it up in however many days it takes.
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From: ozdragonlady
2016-06-06 10:26 pm (UTC)
MIssed you, lady. Look after yourself please. Im looking forward to a new book, whenever you can make it.

You dont have to write big entries here - a simple "Im here. we are all well, the land is good (or wet or dry or blown away :) ) will do fine.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-09 11:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you. The land is VERY good right now and I'm eager to get back out on it and take photographs.
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[User Picture]From: gifted
2016-06-07 12:24 am (UTC)
Good food, sleep and exercise does wonders. I do hope you're feeling much better soon, not only in health, but in accepting the changes and actually enjoying your amended lifestyle. I'm not "just a fan" of your work I guess; I think you're a magnificent person, and would love to know you're taking care of yourself, before anything else.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-09 11:10 pm (UTC)
The sleep seems to be doing the most good so far. Waking up without burning eyes and feeling exhausted is _amazing_.
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From: (Anonymous)
2016-06-07 12:26 am (UTC)

Hoping you take care

If we wanted the deluded ravings of an admittedly brilliant mind, we could probably find one among the clients of a mental health facility, even if we had to go to a few to find someone as brilliant. Still for those of us appreciating your work, even from a purely selfish perspective it helps us for you to write 1000 words a week you keep over 10k a day you need to cut or rewrite. From a more human perspective we hope you are well and appreciate what you've done even if you decided to stop. Wishing.you luck regrouping and loving re-reading your work.
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-09 11:11 pm (UTC)

Re: Hoping you take care

Thanks so much.
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[User Picture]From: filkferengi
2016-06-09 10:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the update; we always enjoy hearing from you when--& as--you're able. I'm glad you're taking needed care of yourself. [critical success, wisdom check?]
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2016-06-09 11:13 pm (UTC)
Apparently the "self-care wisdom check" toggle was set at off for some time. Looking back (and making excuses ) I think it may have gone that way about the time spouse had a serious medical emergency and then another one. Emergency mode is OK for a month, but not for years.
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