October 4th, 2010

woods, Elizabeth, camera, April

The Importance of Plan B (and C, D, E, F.....)

When young people commit suicide, many people wonder why, what drove them to it.  No one has all the answers.  But one common denominator is the crushing hopelessness, the sense that things have gone completely wrong and can't ever improve.  In the case of young college students, their Plan A...the way they thought that first or second year at college would go...has gone down in flames.   The flames may be academic, or social, or religious, or sexual...but whatever the flames are, the Plan A they've cherished as their hope for the future is now an ugly mass of twisted metal and bitter smoke.

I know, because my Plan A crashed and burned.   I had, against the odds, gotten into an excellent university, heading for a science major--something girls hardly ever tried, in those days.   I had fought off years of disapproval by those who thought a child of divorce--especially a girl child of divorce--should be submissive and humble and agree to be a meek little marginal character, doomed to fail at everything.   I got away, I thought.  And then...I failed.  Spectacularly, in more than one area.    My Plan A was gone, and I had no Plan B...I had not thought of failure, only of what lay beyond that first success, that first degree.
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woods, Elizabeth, camera, April

From Twitter 10-03-2010

  • 17:06:40: Mendelssohn in quantity for anthems today. Mendelssohn is like cream and honey in your mouth, to sing.
  • 17:07:20: Long walk on land on gorgeous afternoon, doing some trail maintenance and taking pictures of fall flowers & butterflies.
  • 21:29:21: New post up at http://www.80acresonline.org/blog/ "Monarchs in Fall" with pictures.
  • 21:31:37: RT @kaysea14: Future Generations Will Condemn Us For: Legalizing Bribery Through Campaign Finance | Focal Point .. http://bit.ly/90xPda

Tweets copied by twittinesis.com

woods, Elizabeth, camera, April

Twenty Years and Counting

Twenty years ago today, October 5, 1990, my mother died.   About an hour from now.   It was a Friday, and a bright, clear October morning, as it is today.   She was at home, as she had wanted to be, and I was at her bedside.   The previous weekend, an old friend of hers had died; her own health had been steadily worsening over the months, but this pushed the decline steeper.  She had insisted that I not spend the night at her house (across the street from ours) and so--though I could tell she might be dead by morning--I gave her that last gift of privacy.   I sat up until midnight, as I did last night, and woke early, as I did this morning, raw-eyed and worried and unsure.   When daylight came, I went over to her house.   She opened her eyes and said "There you are!" and then went on about the business of dying.   Two hours later, it was over...for her.  Though it had been over for her earlier in one sense.

It's still not over for me.

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woods, Elizabeth, camera, April

Spirit Day

Originally posted by neo_prodigy at Spirit Day

It’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.

RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh (top)
RIP Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase (middle)
RIP Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. (bottom)

REBLOG to spread a message of love, unity and peace.