June 25th, 2011

woods, Elizabeth, camera, April

New York, New York

New York has now made same-sex marriage legal--and so should all of us.   As a straight woman in a heterosexual marriage, married more than 40 years, I have never felt threatened by same-sex marriage (or same-sex relationships.)  

The argument that same-sex marriages threaten, attack, injure, or invalidate heterosexual marriage makes no sense at all....because it lacks any mechanism.  If you ask how sugary soft drinks threaten/attack/injure tooth enamel, for instance, dentists can give a mechanism and explain how that works.   If you ask how alcohol injures drivers'  ability to drive well, doctors can give a mechanism and explain exactly what alcohol does to the brain to make it work less well.   Safety engineers can explain the mechanism by which this or that industrial accident happens....psychologists can explain the mechanism by which group solidarity becomes bigotry.   

But ask opponents of same-sex marriage how, precisely, same sex marriage injures heterosexual marriage and they can't give an answer. 
  No mechanism exists to move from "Bob and John married," to "Bill and Susie's marriage was destroyed."   Marriages succeed or fail because of the characteristics, choices,  and behaviors of the marriage partners....not the sexual orientation of the neighbors or co-workers.    If someone chooses to use another person's sexuality as an excuse to be a bad marriage partner (and this applies to any someone--straight or gay)  it's just an excuse, not a reason.   The only people who can ruin a marriage are the people in it.    The only people who can sustain a marriage are the people in it.  

Will same-sex marriages prosper?   I hope so.    Initially, I'd expect that longstanding gay partnerships, now formalized as marriages, would beat the odds and outperform heterosexual marriages, on average.  But  I would expect over time that marriages of gay persons would show a similar pattern of success/failure to heterosexual marriages, because the causes of both success and failure are common to the upbringing of both.  A healthy marriage requires both partners to have courage, integrity, and generosity...cowardice, dishonesty, and selfishness in either partner can deepsix a marriage.  

So hurray for New York and I hope the movement spreads.
woods, Elizabeth, camera, April

More on the Hard Stuff

R- had his cardiac catheterization yesterday, had two stents put in, and had (by his report) a very uncomfortable night (they pulled the catheter sheathe at 1 am, so sleep was pretty much out of the question.)    I get to bring him home today, but he's not recovered yet.  Cardiologist appointment Monday, and then it's time to find out when they'll do the stomach and bowel resection and what recovery time is likely to be.   Since the cardiologist has him on blood thinners, and blood thinners are not ideal companions for gastric/gut surgery...well, we'll find out when we find out. 

Just sayin', this is not the summer we planned for. 

So far today I've fed and watered horses, checked the wildlife waterers at Fox and Owl (refilling both the tanks and noting that Fox Pavilion's storage tanks are both very low...) and done some preventive mowing (ragweed) in the near meadow.  

On the good side, the Eustomas (Texas bluebells, actually a large-purple-flowered gentian) are in great shape, the most we've ever had on the west end of the place.  They've colonized the entire gully system but I'm also finding them remote from it.  (What eats and drops the seeds???)  I even found one in the west grass (east of the all-too-dry creekbed.)

We need rain.  Everybody here needs rain.   It would take 12-15 inches for the water table to start springs and creeks running again.

E.