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Chickens for Health Care... [Apr. 24th, 2010|01:36 am]
[Current Mood |awake]

No, I'm not talking about the efficacy of chicken soup.

My rancher friend Ellen sent me this:

Sue Louden is a Republican Senate candidate who really proposed barter for medical care, using chickens as an example.  Given a chance to amend her proposal to "negotiate" terms, she refused, saying that chickens were good enough for folks in the past and ought to be fine now.  Of course, the internet responded.  Enjoy.

So, let's consider the person who needs some medical care but lives in an apartment that doesn't allow chickens.

Will the Elephants support legislation requiring landlords to allow chicken-coops on balconies?  Fire escapes?   Roofs?  Somehow, given their traditional approach to "rights and responsibilities" I see them siding with landlords' concern for property damage, and cities right to control "nuisances."

Moreover, having worked in a rural medical clinic, I foresee that the arrival of some tens, hundreds, or thousands of chickens would be a logistical nightmare for the doctor's staff.  Unless we could go to a whole barter system, replacing money with chickens, so that doctors could ship chickens off to the power company, the gas company, the pharmaceutical and medical supply companies...and if that happens, then legislators will also be paid in chickens.

I can just see the chickens coming home to roost, as it were, in Ms. Louden's living room.  Waking her in the morning. Demanding that she feed them.  Smelling like chickens smell.

But of course. as this is an Elephant idea,  Wall Street will get involved, and there will be even wilder swings in the value of chickens.  Pretty soon we'll be transferring virtual chickens (little bobbing icons) by electronic means, with the ownership of the actual chickens (permanently housed on chicken ranches...oops...Texans, we shouldn't go there...um...chicken factories) switching from patient to doctor to medical supply company...from individuals to the Dept of the Treasury, and thence into Ms. Louden's living room computer.   Because after all, big corporations never commit fraud; the market always takes care of any little fraud that occurs; and insider trading in chickens is just...chicken feed.

I think if Ms. Louden thinks the old days and old ways are good enough for now, she should remove herself from the ballot--back chickens were worth more than beef, women couldn't vote.  Or hold office.  She's clearly demonstrated that a woman of her mental era isn't competent, and someone should put a ruffled apron on her, remove her shoes, get her pregnant, hand her a nekkid chicken and a pot,  call her "little lady" and remind her that she's really only fit for women's work.

[User Picture]From: londonbard
2010-04-24 09:33 am (UTC)
Adopt one today! There was a new development in the discussion surrounding the Barter for Care system pioneered in some states when Ms Jessamine Rodgers alleged discrimination.

Ms Rodgers is a city-dweller and zoning laws still prohibit the chicken-runs in use elsewhere. She has stated that she therefore offered 19 pigeons as a payment for her medical tests and, pound for pound, this is a considerable overpayment on the stated price of 10 chickens or 8 capons. (She pointed out that her offer is still more generous in monetary terms if the price of squabs in New York restaurants is considered.)

However, Dr Dawson has alleged that these are city pigeons, netted on the roof of an apartment building in LA. The doctor is quoted as saying,

"Salmonella was the least of it. I think she must have made a deal with an exterminator! The birds had fleas, avian pox, feather mites, splivens and, although they have tested negative for Bird Flu the one-legged specimen was carrying something that severely corroded the microscope slide before crawling away."

The allegation that plucked vultures were offered in ... (this article continues on page four...)
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[User Picture]From: jon_d_r
2010-04-24 09:52 am (UTC)
Yeah, well, does one expect to receive giblets as change?
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2010-04-24 03:09 pm (UTC)
No, all charges are rounded up to the whole chicken.

By the way, don't fail to read the fine print at the bottom of that webpage...it's as funny as the rest.
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[User Picture]From: kk1raven
2010-04-30 02:55 pm (UTC)
I particularly like "chickens should not drive you to the doctor".

My mind boggles at the ideas that some politicians come up with.
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[User Picture]From: londonbard
2010-04-24 01:15 pm (UTC)
PS - may I link to your post?
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2010-04-24 03:05 pm (UTC)
By all means!
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[User Picture]From: londonbard
2010-04-24 03:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
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From: 6_penny
2010-04-24 02:46 pm (UTC)
I would suggest that any campaign contributions to Ms Louden be made in chickens - or perhaps Bantum roosters.
I have a friend who is currently infested with wild turkeys. I will suggest that she trap them and bring them to the statehouse to pay her state income tax.
But then how would they tell them apart from the legislators?
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[User Picture]From: e_moon60
2010-04-24 03:08 pm (UTC)
They don't...because even if they were born in the good old days, they were born into affluent families where the female help did the dirty work, and they got to swan around in nice clothes and Daddy couldn't resist his darling daughter's requests.

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