e_moon60 (e_moon60) wrote,

Testosterone at the Table

Got the new BassPro catalog today, which is a huge, colorful compendium of stuff someone might use for hunting or fishing or bringing the outdoors indoors.  (And I don't mean by propping open the screen door with a rock.)  Before we get to the laughs, there's a lot of stuff in the big hunting catalogs (this and others) that I would be glad to have.   Good quality roughing-it clothing and gear, mixed in with some "well, OK..." (gun cleaning mat...isn't that what the kitchen table is for?)   But then there's the sillies.  Someone must buy this stuff, but it's like the orange or pink camo rifles I saw at McBride's...eeeeuwwww.

Several items were, to both of us, roll-on-the-floor funny.  A tree stand described as "lethal" (yeah, to the person who falls out of it, that particular tree stand looking about as safe as...sitting on a branch stub. )   Electronic ignition for your muzzle-loader  (I'm sorry...I must've missed something...the muzzle-loader enthusiasts I know are all for historical accuracy....a green camo muzzle-loader with electronic ignition is just...not....I can just see the historical re-creation societies faced with some newbie who wants to bring his leafy-green camo electronically ignited muzzle-loader to, say, a Bunker Hill replay.)

But the prize (so far--you have to read everything closely to find the juicy bits) is the flatware.   Yes, there's home decor (provided you want camo on just about everything, and that included the blades of your ceiling fan)  and a two-page spread with dinnerware on one page and flatware on the other.   The dinnerware's not bad; I personally like the autumn leaves one or the fish one better than the deer one (stilted looking deer.)   And the utensils aren't awful looking.  It's the ad copy.  The utensils have "bold, outdoor themed designs.....forged into each man-sized utensil (which ought to make them awkward to use--getting that 6 foot fork into your mouth...).   Adding, the ad continues, "the touch of testosterone that's been missing from your dining table...."

I dunno about the rest of you, but the testosterone at our dining table comes from the guys around it.   And there's no shortage.

Tags: humor
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